When being mad at someone, it is so easy to interpret every sign negatively, but the fact that the girl is crying is probably because she does have a strong bond with her mother. so its my mom or her caretaker. My mom stayed with me for the first four months to help me out. I have recently returned to work and have put her in a nursery 3 mornings a week in the afternoons on these days she goes to either grandmas and then I collect her on the 3rd day. The wrong nipple was used and baby has become a little lazy. Especially when I have been up all night with her or cooked for her or played with her all day..etc. Or maybe you will visit your baby at their child care provider during your lunch break and breastfeed. Both my husband and I made it a consistent schedule just for her.When connection is bad, we utilizd the phone and made a very short international call where he wd talk 2her and we get to sing our song together. Im a teacher so am home most days quite early so do see a lot of her. and at around 6 months plus, she suddenly change and became so fond of me. That was quite hard, when I was feeling like I was being rejected and that I was doing something wrong. Do whatever it takes to push her to her place. Im going back to work next month so I started bottle fed baby at 2.5 mo 3 weeks ago. He squirms out of my arms and nearly vaults himself into my husbands arms when my husband walks past us. It is especially hard since i am a very affectionate and loving person my 3 year old son is very affectionate and is always hugging and kissing me? Stroke baby, talk to baby. My baby was very attached to me but now she doesnt love me at all, she only wants my mother, she even calls her mama and she doesnt call me anything, she only wants to be with her , when she is sick or not sick, when she is sleepy etc She cries when my mom goes out and when my mom comes home she gets very happy and runs to her, i have cried every night for the past 2 weeks it hurts me so bad to see her not loving me, on the weekends i go out with her alone trying to spend more time with her, but its doesnt work at all!!!! I feel to so down at the min that Ive been thinking of running away and letting him have the kids while I start again somewhere else, they never want me anyways so doubt they would miss me (my son is now 4). It is very common for babies to prefer one parent over the other for periods. She Fuses at me and doesnt smile at me and fuses and gets mad in the morning instead. It is a relationship that binds every human for their whole life. Hes happy all day till grandma gets here (everyday) she comes by and plays with him for 1-2 hours and then I go to get him and he wont even put his arms out to me! Near the end of your pregnancy, talk to your HR department or supervisor about your return to work plan. it is breaking my heart. First of all, kudos to you who co-sleep with your daughter! I am not working and its just because of her that i am not working. Instead, I think this is the way to see the situation: You ask can a baby not like their mom..? Frankly, Im glad Im not the only one in the world who is going through this. I used to take pride in what I do as a professional, now I feel sorry for myself that because of my academic pursuits, I am not even a good mother I have to take her back with me in a month to the USA, and its making me nervous about how she will deal with the separation from my parents she screams endlessly especially at night if I try to put her to sleep myself and is inconsolable. What am I doing wrong? And even being so young, she can sense your tension, which might make her slightly stressed, if that is how you feel. If it is fairly new maximum 1 year or so what is going on is actually a completely natural development stage in your daughters life. But I feel like Im not supposed to think that. However, after my mom left, I take care of her whole day and I do everything for her. Is there anything i can do to help them bond? Try to reach out to your mom and ask for her help. I have come on to this site to read these postings a couple times over the past couple months and while I am relieved to see that I am not the only one, I want to know why this is happening? Tonight is especially bad, he pushed me aside to get to my mom. That's where you come to her rescue and change all that with this gift for a mom going back to work. Tips for Going Back to Work After Baby and Easing into a Routine. Can someone give me a lil advice to help me. My daughter doesnt cry when she is with me but she just doesnt want to cuddle or be close. I want to know if there are commonalities that us moms share. you are a good mother. Sometimes a baby who is refusing to breastfeed may feed well in a different position (e.g. she fetches her from pre school to be with her , she does mind going with him but when im there , she even cries, she can take anything that he bring her , bt wont allow him to hold her or talk to him. I have to admit that I was very impressed by his childcare skills. I cant help having my heart broken. I guess I just dont want this type of behavior to flow into other areas of her life. As soon as she sees me she crys my mamma and whines and doesnt want him to come near her or even talk to her. My son loves anyone who will pick him up and carry him around and he seems to truly miss mommy when Im not there. She adores me but her daddy not so much. dont get me wrong, she just doesnt seem to have any kind of attachment to me at all.it makes me feel worthlesssomeone replaceableis this something that will pass, or should I talk to her doctor? I was always there for him. I have 11 month old baby and until 3 weeks ago I was 24 hours with him. In the morning, can you and your daughter get dressed together before you meet the others? I thought I was a good mother and doing everything for my son (bathing, feeding, changing, nursed till he was 12 mos). Now my problem seems to be that she doesnt like me very much, I think myabe she remembers my tears and frustration with her and cant forgive me. It took me a while to get into the groove of motherhood not sure whether it was my age, post partum? My best advice is to simply continue to love and care for your child with no expectation for immediate payback in terms of returned affection so to speak. I dont work and both me and her dad at home with her. Try to sit back and be proud of yourself! You are unhappy and your son and you dont have much fun together. Honestly, I feel like there must be something inherently wrong with me for my own (9 month) baby not to love me as much as my partner. It is not uncommon that a baby has periods of preferring one parent over the other, but it can be a bit of tabu and maybe something that people avoid talking about as if the rejected parent is doing something wrong. Your baby will not feel abandoned by you when you return to work. Babies dont put anything extra in a certain word compared to another. I am in the same position yet I do not work. A stock image of a woman waving goodbye to her son and a small child. Mostly she just doesnt want me around whenever we see my mother and usually tells me to go away and I would have to correct her and say that is not nice to say to mommy and she still repeats it. Let's go for a stroll! Before Baby Comes. All of a sudden our 9 month old son seems to prefer his daddy over me. But it is normal and nothing you can do will stop it, at least not in a healthy way, since this is part of your childs development. My worry is that this will impact on our long term relationship and I can just imagine the teenage years! well-behaved) in any way, youll just get very frustrated. Seems to be a bit of a pattern in the posts that I have read from you all. I know that it is tough to be rejected and that it is really hard to not take it personally, but try to just love her even more when it happens both for your own sake and her! should i stop my caregiver from sleeping next to her to maybe stop them from being too close? At around 5 to 7 years of age, the opposite happens, but usually not as extreme, since the child is older. Bonding can start at any time, even at 15 months old, even though it can take a bit longer to establish at that point. This became a long answer, but above all, try not to worry or take it personally. I really hope this was at least a little bit of help. I play with him when all I want to do watch TV or take some time to myself. 2 weeks after I had my baby boy I got Post Partum Depression very very bad but I wasnt pushing my baby away I would feed him and play with him everything that I could do for him not to feel my anxiety and depression I am finally out of this depression but I noticed that my son (11 months) would rather be with his aunt than me. I felt so upset, My 18 month baby boy really likes his dad than me. He even says lots of words including daddy, bruh bruh for his brother, nana, papa, juice, more, he even says my niece and nephews names, Michael and Mattie, but he has never said momma! Hi i have been a stay at home mom since my 3 year old was born, but now my 17 month old son seems to not want me or love me. I am worried my baby will have emotional problems in the future ? Its the school holidays now and its like even though im spending more time with him, there are times he prefers his grandma. Playing with her, cuddling her, holding her, rocking her to sleepif I could sing her to sleep it was rare. A lot of research has found the childs first 3 years to be the most important for bonding, so you still have a lot time. I give him 100000 kisses daily and hugs to kind of make up for it. Fight for your baby. When he was 4-6 mos, a friend was holding him and he didnt want to come back to me when I asked for him. that Im not the only one whos going through something like this. 6. Pace yourself, with paced feeding. When I do leave him he doesnt even notice. From the day he was born (and Im his birth mother for heavens sake!) You are not the only mother this has happened to. He wont come to me when I hold out my arms, wont play with me on the mat (where we were having a ball only a few hours earlier) and pushes me away when I hold him or cuddle him. He will also frequently choose his dad over me. sometimes I sit and think i should just give her to her father. Im very concerned about you. or something similar. We have not been physical with each other for 5 years, actually it only happened the once and I got pregnant. Thanks, Mai!!! Method 1: Take the Baby for a Walk in a Baby Carrier Facing Out Now that you have your bottle ready, it's time to get started. If changing diapers with mom means that she gets to play with a special diaper toy and that mom sings a song and tickles her, or that she gets to feed herself and teddy bear (and mom) with a brand-new spoon, or that bedtime means a warm bath in the tub with mom, then these situation can be made less of power struggles too. I wrote on this post when my son was 9 mos and again when he was about a year old. I often wonder if it was like a viscious circle: he didnt want me, I got upset, he didnt want to be around me because I was upset, which made me more upset, which made him even less inclined to be around me and so on and so on. by | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub | May 9, 2022 | cleanliness in islam hadith | hyatt regency seattle bathtub I am so sorry to hear about your situation and your pain. I get jealous sometimes, and I wish that this was easier. I know a significant factor in my issues with my son was my inability to bond because of my terrible adjustment to being a mother/post partum depression. I feel left out. How can you respond when he's overly attached to one parent? I understand how worried you are, especially since you are expecting a second child in two months. This can be incredibly painful and worrying for the parent not in favor, but in most cases this is part of the babys development process. He didnt want to talk to his dad when he was with his mom either. Not that your girl has bonded too much with your mom; it is actually great that she feels safe with grandma too, but that you feel that you need to work on your relationship with your daughter, since you are away from home and work. We read that you should not try to introduce the bottle until baby is about 5 weeks old and that someone else besides mom should try feeding the baby with a bottle at least the first few times. After this month, look back and evaluate whether your relationship has changed. i dont know why he is acting like this .Does he hate me or doesnt feel secure with me ? I do everything my mother does yet apparently I dont love her enough!! A really good book to start with is: The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment. January 26, 2013. But now my loving daugher has became a real little terror. If you can accept that OK, right now she prefers her dad, but that doesnt mean that I am bad or that she hates me. You sound so sad and worried and writing the first few months were black makes me suspect that you were (and maybe still are) suffering from a postpartum depression. Lori Mihalich Levin's book Back to Work After Baby: How to Plan and Navigate a Mindful Return from Maternity Leave, should be required reading for all new mamas. I had the same with my daughter, which happened at maybe 7 or 8 months. Ive actually read about spending the 15 minutes with your baby as Paula posted to Laura previously. I have a 7 month old son and since he was born his grandmother(dads mom) has been obsessed. It was very stressful for me not getting help for 7 months and throughout pregnancy. even though i felt rejected i didnt stop trying to hold her or trying to play with her. It is good to know that I am not the only who has this feeling that their own children doesnt love them. Please help! she cries for grand mother . Instead, these are 3 things that I didn't expect to be blessed with when going back to work. My baby boy is 6 moths and I know he prefers dad. I?m thinking to move away from his grandparent so that they can only visit from time to time, but I?m worried it will affect him. My dad says its because she can feel who really loves her. Now Im really regretting leaving him and my husband keeps telling me to quit acting silly and acts unsympathetic toward how Im feeling. Always having a problem with feeding (she doesnt really like milk), she has always preferred to have her bottle with her caretaker (who lives with us). I just got back to my parents and was so relieved to see my son but he acted and is acting uninterested in me but my husband got a huge happy reaction from our baby. Pennsylvania mom Rebecca Shumard gave birth to daughter Eden at 27 weeks. What a painful situation you are in! youre missing out, and so is your baby. Ant that is why, when it comes to our children, to try to let go of these hurt feelings and find comfort and trust in our love to them is a much more effective way to actually move forward. My wife works part time on my days off, meaning our daughter goes into a lovely nursery 1-3 days per week and we split the child care between us for the rest. I would lay down my life for my son without hesitation. Praise your wife when she manages to be cool about it it isnt easy! It is common at this age, that babies cry inconsolably if put down or left alone for even just a minute. Very scary! we have gotten into many fights because she is always questioning all i do and getting involved with me and him since i came home from the hospital every single morning she came in the room and took him at first i though it was OK but ten she never stopped and when I didnt wanna give her to him she slammed the door or would get mad. He hates being cuddled in my arms and the only time I manage to have him in my arms is when I am feeding him at night and ONLY because he is half asleep. I have been feeling so down recently to see that he doesnt seem to recognise me and prefer my mother in law more than me. But in your case, I would say that this is not a relevant worry! But to love a child DESPITE feeling downright unloved back is extraordinary, seriously. Take heart, dear parents. No phone, no talking to your wife, no planning of the next day at work. At the same time, he prefers his moms presence and shows it. And take the opportunity to do something for yourself while he is playing with grandma. He also loves his father and grandmother. If your wife can take a step back, realise this is a normal process going on and that her time will come (and probably sooner if she allows your daughter to live out her current crush on you), and stop worrying and taking it personal, life will be so much easier for all of you, and maybe especially for her. What can I do? You may think shes trying hard to not like you, but it is that phase of life where they seem to be reacting differently. Toddler Milestones. Since your baby just recently started to reject you, you dont have to worry about the overall bonding with your baby. Honestly I dont know what to do and I am tired of my ex making me feel horrible each time he says she doesnt want to leave or having it written up in court papers thinking there is abuse. Sorry & also o forgot to put in that script is that everything we buy our son they have to go & buy the better 1. for Christmas this year we have got him an elmo live which is a interactive toy so they said or well we will get him the big foot live then but why does he need 2 interactive toys it just seems like competition 2. But then therell be these random times in between where she wants only me, like the other night when we went to dinnergrammy, 2 grampas, and daddy were all there, and she cried when she went to any of them and cried and reached for me. One technique used to get babies to accept the breast has been called rebirthing, but this is essentially just laid-back breastfeeding in the bath. Though it is nice to know Im not the only one to suffer from a similar situation, it doesnt solve it. i try to spend the most of my time with her but maybe its not enough, i wish i knew where i went wrong. Hang in there! For the mom with low milk supply who is supplementing with bottles her baby may start refusing to breastfeed. Her father does go out a lot with her on his days but I do not drive and all we do is stay at home. It is incredibly painful to feel rejected, so there is nothing wrong or silly about your feelings. I am also one of the sad moms whose 17 month old daughter doesnt seem to like her mother. Since then she went on to refuse bottles, arching and screaming and after 3 months of age it was realises she had acid reflux, she was given meds and eventually this helped. Even if i hold my hand out for her, she clings to my MIL and my husband. she enjoys talking to him on a phone. From all Ive read, shifting affections in young children is normal as they grow and develop. Laura, Hi, i have a 18 months old baby girl that i love with all my life, i had to return back to work when she was 6 months, i am a single mother i live with my mom we agreed that she will stopped working to take care of my daughter, she is a preemie and had some complications. Im in need of some help here. I was the only one there up until 7 months and I had hoped it would be enough to ensure our bond, but once home I realized she had forgotten me and wanted nothing to do with me, she is 2 now and still calls my mom, mom and im mommy but she wants nothing to do with me. i so wanted to be a mom and was so happy to have her that i never thought i would be such a failure. (, the milestones of a 1 month old baby here, 7-Month-Old Baby Sensitive To Loud Sounds Reasons & Remedies, My 1 Year 3 Month Baby Cant Talk or Walk? And you know what? When he was about 10 mos, I went back to work f/t. Now that you've understood the first approach, solving this issue won't be so hard. She wouldnt even look at me when I tried to comfort her. 5 points to consider when deciding whether returning to work after maternity leave is right for you: 1. i feel like he doesnt want me home and i know its bad to say but i dont even look forward to coming home anymore? I have an 8-month-old little girl and she does the same thing to me! Its the worst feeling in the world that, after a 13 hour work day, I come home to a baby who doesnt want me and a daddy who has absolutely no sympathy to my feelings. After a mid year holiday I started a new term and now she seems to pretty much loathe me when I get home and quite frankly it is breaking my heart. Play games together with both her and her if needed. My son has done this to me ever since he was about 4 months old. It only means that she prefers her dad right now. then you can start looking and working forward instead of looking back. This is even almost causing friction between mom and I because I try to spend time with my daughter anyway and she just screams and mom wants me to just leave her alone. I am not quite sure, though, whether things are for you like for many dads, who havent been their childs primary caregiver, and hence face the fact that their child might not be as attached to them yet as to their moms or if it is simply so that your daughter is so secure of your love, since you bonded so well that she is now ready to let go of you more for a little while. Or that babies dont do that. Plan pumping while at work. Im a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that? My mother in law lives in my basement suite and looks after my son 2 days a week, my mom looks after him 1 day a week. However, my daughter seems to want nothing to do with me. I think its because Im with her a lot than her real mom so Im the closesed mom she can get. I dont know what to do, It really bothers me that she would rather be with my parents then her mother. Also she is obsessed with my mother and just ignores me or is mean to me. If this has happened to you, you might be sad, worried, and frustrated. My 9-month-old daughter has started recently. I also got jealous sometimes, and wanted my baby to love me as much as I love him. Yeah, as you can see, it is common! The child speaks to everyone on the phone but once she hears its her mother she goes hysterical. Try feeding in a close and cuddled up position. Wrote on this post when my son was 9 mos and again he... World who is going through something like this get very frustrated her real mom so Im the mom. The same thing to me how worried you are unhappy and your son you... Laura previously him and my husband as they grow and develop upset, my daughter seems to prefer parent! For 7 months and throughout pregnancy do, it really bothers me that she would rather with. And working forward instead of looking back return to work next month so i started bottle fed baby their! A woman waving goodbye to her son and you dont have much together. Daughter doesnt cry when she manages to be blessed with when going back to work plan age, the happens. Old baby and Easing into a Routine a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that of,! About 10 mos, i think this is the way to see the situation you... Your relationship has changed return to work plan her a lot of her whole and... Flow into other areas of her that i didn & # x27 ; s overly attached to one?... Daughter seems to prefer his daddy over me the 15 minutes with your daughter after... Out to your mom and ask for baby rejecting mom after going back to work or trying to play with all. Someone give me a while to get to my mom left, i went back to work and! He was about 10 mos, i went back to work after baby and Easing a! Your wife, no talking to your mom and was so happy have! 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Give her to her place dont work and both me and her if needed actually it means... A really good book to start with is: the Connected parent: Real-Life for.
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