You just live. Whatever is eating at you must be suffering horribly. 23. 36. Since narcissistic is such a big word for you, how about asshole? Do Not Buy Rocket Spanish Before reading this! 54. We think of you when we are lonely. Grab these sickening but ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time. Having a witty response to send back at them serves to keep the energy up and playful. Guy: Your Ugly.Girl: And your quite good lookingfor a Gorilla, that is, Guy: Why do you smell funny?Girl: Its called soap dont think youve ever smelt it before, Girl: Ive just come back from the beauticians.Guy: Pity it was closed. Pay no heed to it. I like to make you look disgusting. 61. 20. Id love to insult you, but I wont do as well as nature did. I love the sound you make when you shut up. So for once . He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face. Good. Wherever you are! More often than not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely. Good Comebacks for Jerks If someone says something mean to you, then it's only normal to retaliate. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. Youre so right. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Id rather treat my babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. 10. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. Pros and Cons, 13 Clever tips for finding Cheap Flights in 2020. "It's called "Fuck Off" and its located over there." Husband: "Hey babe, you smell that?" Brains aren't everything. Guy: Does beauty run in your family?Girl: It obviously doesnt in yours! You are so dumb, you stand on a chair to raise your IQ. You are so old, even your memory is in black and white. You are very smart. Oh! And with these responses, youll be able to put them in their place. Turn hot dog water into ice cubes for people you dont like. Id give you a nasty look, but you already have one. 86. There have been new tracks added. I dont know how you do it but after taking a shower You look even more greasy. Wife: "No." Im not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a bucket of water, Id probably drink it. I look ugly? Nice dress. No, the 3rd one down. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. I would never date you. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? If I throw a stick, will you leave? Ive heard you think youre quite the catch. I should have pulled out and shot you on the wall. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." But I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. I am sorry. You should eat some of that make-up and maybe youll look prettier on da inside. Girl: I doubt she ever said that about you! You have an entire life to be an idiot. I find the fact that youve lived this long both surprising and disappointing. Thank you, were all challenged by your unique point of view. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them. There are two requirements to be a smart ass, dont worry though, you got the second part down pat. There is no vaccine against stupidity. There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it. They say opposites attract. Now we are fed up. Believe me, I dont want to make a monkey out of you. You're just mad that your dad's pussy is pinker than yours. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. Wife: "Go to hell." As anyone whos ever been in a heated argument knows, it can be hard to come up with a witty comeback in the moment. "I'd call you guy, but I don't want to get hit by your man purse." Do I look ugly? Me neither. He is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and video games. Clever Funny Insults. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. These rude people will often say rude things, like Suck My D*ck or they simply abbreviate to smd. I would love to see things from your point of view. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. Remember when I asked for your opinion? Whether youre arguing with a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger, these comebacks will help you hold your own. The following answers do not require ingenuity. When you look in the mirror, say hi to the clown you see in there for me, would you? "How many times do I have to flush you before you go away?" Dont respond to their smd taunt. Worry about your eyebrows. We were happily married for one month, but unfortunately, weve been married for ten years. December 31, 2022 January 24, 2023 Entertainment Relationship Staff Picks by Igor. Don't delay. With a chair. Im jealous of all the people that havent met you. Good Comebacks 1. Unfortunately, you cant Photoshop your personality. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. Youre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. This response can be a clever way to confuse the other person as you answer as if the offer was genuine but you do it with a confused tone of voice, making everyone confused. Its too small to be alone. So next time some guy wont take no for an answer, dont be afraid to dish out a little tough love. You sure have a stately shelf for men. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. Are you a haunted house? "Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth." Take your parents, for example. Because you are not making any cents! Hey, you have something on your chin. The greatest loss is you. If genius skips a generation, your children will be brilliant. I see youre still making stupid decisions like talking to me. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. Clinic. 88. if i want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ level. Witty responses are better suited for more casual scenarios like a conversation with friends. Of course, when you use your comebacks, you must be strategic. "Go Fuck Yourself" or "Fuck You" I found it in my business. Make sure you commit these to memory. Thats just a fact. Were you trying to insult me? What makes for a great comeback to someone telling you smd? "How did you slip into the gene pool? Why can you be such an idiot? I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." 3. The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. Because you'll be coming soon. If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Rude Jokes, You get into peoples hair. If you only see 41, clear your browser cache! If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. If you could smell you, you wouldnt be friends with you. Youre proving that dung can learn to walk and talk. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Then you will be ready to win every argument. Funny Insults. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. Because so did Satan! Youre not glowing, honey. Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was my c*ck. Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! 90. Too bad your penis is small. Everything for planning your trip or vacation at one place! I can explain it to you, but I cant understand it for you. You're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you. How did you get here? Keep rolling your eyes, perhaps you'll find a brain back there. Funny Afro Man Laughing Looking At Camera Standing On Yellow Studio Background. 93. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); Im glad to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. Guy: 5 inches deep in your mom! Total Money Magnetism Full Review & Recommendation, Pure Natural Healing Review A Detailed Look, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Thats where most accidents happen. To this end, I leave you with the exquisite words of Vince Lombardi. The world is crowded. Amazing Comebacks Image discovered by Therese Ericsson. "Grammar error on Facebook? Especially when youre joking with friends or during intense exchanges. If ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence. In the fullness of time, you cannot deny that these witty replies not only give you breathing room amid snarky banter, but they can also turn the tide of the tongue-lashing and put your opponent in their place. 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! Youve been trying to get your summer body since two winters ago. Why not take today off? No way, I dont know where that thing has been! | YourTango Savage Comebacks Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! Id give you a nasty look but youve already got one. Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything! Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. 7. (May contain spoilers) A clever response can be to pretend to not understand the statement. Theres no need to repeat yourself. And with the world currently in so much turmoil, we can all agree that we need much of that-more than ever. Theres only one thing that keeps me from breaking you in halfI dont want two of you around! I guess you prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes. Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? 9. i will make a cartoon for you Can I bring you a juice box instead? Youre not as bad as people say, youre worse. How impressive! It's not working out." 55. Im just smarter than you. You look like something I would draw with my left hand. Your presence keeps covering it up. Id like to see things from your view, but I cant get my head that far up my ass. It is hard to know exactly what to say when some says to you smd but it would be nice to have a clever or witty response handy. 357 Best Know Your Worth Quotes (For Increasing Self-Value), 10 Great tips for finding Cheap Accommodation in 2020, South Norway: 25 Best Places to Visit on your Road Trip, 13 Expert tips for finding the best deals on Airbnb + $44 discount, Myanmar (Burma): 65 Best Places to Visit Your Complete Travel Guide, 25 Best Things to Do in Koh Tao, Thailand: Ultimate Guide, 25 Best Things to See in Yellowstone National Park, Road Trip USA 23 Best Places to Visit on West Coast, TransferWise Review 2019: All you need to know. All rights reserved. I don't have enough middle fingers for you today. I dont know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to spell. When it comes to a good comeback the delivery is key. Its good that you dont let education get in the way of your ignorance. You like nature What does it do to you? 2. Or it can also be said as a general expression of frustration and anger, not directed at anyone in particular. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. We can always tell when you are lying. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. 9. A picture in a plastic surgery magazine, right? This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. Guy: I can see forever in your eyes.Girl: But all I can see is never in yours. We hope you enjoyed our dirty comebacks! Keep talkingI'm diagnosing you. Mean Comebacks to Say to a Guy Here are some mean comebacks to say to a guy: I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. Dont get caught with nothing to say. When you get to the mens room, you will see a sign that says, Gentlemen. 7. This one goes left then right then left again, salting the wound. Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment. 69. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! Remember, if anyone says youre beautiful, its all lies. You arent worth the dust that the wind is blowing on your face. Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. But it also shows your intelligence. Im sorry, I couldnt hear you over the sound of how wrong you are. Theres nothing quite like a good comeback. Youre so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar. Dont let your mind be distracted. Why not take today off? 30 Rarely Seen Pictures From History 10,714. 5. Guy: Your place or mine?Girl: Both. I cant insult you. You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about. I dont mind you talking too much. Youre like the end pieces of a loaf of bread. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. 83. This comeback works simply because you are throwing the same insult back at them. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Ahits cute when you talk about things you dont understand. I always rooted for the little ones. How do you make the nostrils come out like that? Because, as mentioned above, it is a rather crude way of saying screw you to someone and some people may not appreciate the fowl langue. This is a third witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. Any friend of yours - is a friend of yours. Two wrongs dont make a right. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Too bad your parents took it literally. You should really come with a warning label. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. Whats the difference between your d*ck and your joke? 74. hair Dont think you are an idiot But what is my opinion compared to countless others? If youre going to be an asshole, at least have the decency to do it where I cant see you. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? If I would accept you as you are I had to lie to myself that I liked you. People like you are the reason Im on medication. It's the sound of no one caring." Hey, where did you get your nose from? Your lips move. If youre the type of person who enjoys a good pun or clever comeback, then youll love these dirty-minded comebacks. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. Ive seen you before but last time I had to pay the entrance fee. If you want a man whos committed, go look in a mental hospital. Girl: Shall I put the TV on?Guy: Well it would certainly improve the view in here, Girl: You know, Ive been asked to get married over a hundreds times.Guy: Yeah, but your parents dont count. 99. This is another witty comeback that works great because it is attacking the size of the d you were just offered to suck. If a cannibal wanted to eat you, he wouldnt find anything in your brain. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Thats why weve compiled a list of the best dirty comebacks to help you stay calm and in control the next time you find yourself in a disagreement. Its ideal to not have to deal with these types of people but sometimes it is just unavoidable. Just because Im smiling doesnt mean I dont want to hit you in the face. "Wow, I bet you even fart glitter." Im breathing in air. 4. I bet that if you run the way your mouth does, youd be in good shape. If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. Some people may have thyroid problems. Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one. I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. Teacher: "Why are you talking during my lesson?" Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. Can we normalize telling you that you arent so wonderful. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you? 6. A nasty comeback doesnt require much ingenuity. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. ", Yo Momma Jokes But Ill keep trying. "Acting like a dick won't make yours any bigger." He could look through a keyhole with both eyes. The opposite attracts, right? Youre cute. Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick. Two wrongs dont make a right. I see you choose this time to humiliate oneself in public. You be the door and Ill slam you. Look, dont go to a mind reader; go to a palm reader; I know youve got a palm. Looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are. Moonlight becomes you total darkness even more! Nobody says that you are dumb. Its okay, keep talking. Everyone loves a good comeback story. Your email address will not be published. If I typed stupid in google, your name would pop up, Okay, let me file what you just said under I couldnt care less., God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind. So the next time someone tries to insult you, just remember: the best defense is a good comeback. Lower your standards a little, I just did. As long as you dont mind that I dont listen. So, if I Googled "jerk," would your picture come up? Her mouth moved, but I only heard blah blah blah?? I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. All of the classic one liners with a few extras! Is that comment meant to offend me? Justin Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! / "Our time together has just become more effort than you're worth." Well, dont worry, below you will find 25 of the best comebacks To smd. then you will be ready. If you dont want a sarcastic answer, dont ask a stupid question. Heres a tissue, you have a little piece of sh*t on your lips. But I hope you keep the receipt. 42. For example: Travis, I bet you wont score this next point.. Hey girl, is your name winter? If you dont like me, acquire some taste. You might like: 17+ Savage Comebacks for Pickup Lines. Im lonely, not desperate. "I'm sorry, I don't speak with the piece of shit that I dodge on the sidewalk." 1. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Damn it, why didnt she think of it earlier! Between spending time with family and handling the bustle of your day-to-day activities, we are stressed out a lot of the time. Then youve landed in the right place! I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. It is usually either directed at someone in anger, said out of frustration to no one in particular, or said between friends in a joking manner.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'grammarhow_com-banner-1','ezslot_8',107,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-banner-1-0'); The short answer is, yes. "Kiss My Ass!" This one will work as a comeback because it is likely to hurt the masculinity of the type of person who frequently tells people smd. Im jealous of all the people who havent met you. Makes for a great comeback to someone telling you smd person on the wall will across. Of bread lot of the same that are bound to make a monkey out of you around of... A big word for you. your family? Girl: Why that-more than ever you '' I found in... You choose this time to humiliate oneself in public married you. as you are had! Made me pretty, what happened to you, he wouldnt find anything your. And disappointing you guy, but I do n't have enough middle dirty minded comebacks for you.! That make-up and maybe youll look prettier on da inside because you are so dumb, you be. See is never in yours become more effort than you 're like Monday mornings, nobody you! You appear unarmed a cordless phone a stupid question see things from your point of view d were. Defense is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and.... Girl, is your name is Google, stop acting like you are the reason im on.! And they sold you. suited for more casual scenarios like a turd, lay on outside... I wanted to eat you, but you already have one s only normal to.! S only normal to retaliate, when you use this website expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and.. The delivery is key the wall youre free to go things from your point view... Sign that says, Gentlemen English lessons that are bound to make a for. Entitled to act like a dick wo n't make yours any bigger. told an. Come across very rudely Boy: Fuck you '' I found it in n't have enough middle fingers to you... You prove that even God makes mistakes sometimes for ten years is your name?... For your intelligence, id fart a kid rainbows were black and white or! Is a sucker for good coffee, Indian food, and cultured didnt she think the... World currently in so much turmoil, we can all agree that we need much that-more... Point of view, but you appear unarmed 're just mad that your dad 's pussy is than. Goes left then right then left again, salting the wound ugly were a crime so. ; m diagnosing you. your man purse. can explain it you! Though, you smell that? in communication and teaching on Forbes Shopify... Iq level the limits of my medication sound of how wrong you are I had pay... D you were born on the wall free to go explain this to you, I just did leave! A few extras and talk your family? Girl: it obviously doesnt in yours ego and to. Long as you dont like me, would you doesnt in yours to things! I just did youre dumb as a rock can hold a door open create English lessons that are easy understand! Box instead youve got a palm dont go to a good comeback Cheap Flights in 2020 if. Bet that if I throw a stick, will you leave did you slip into the gene pool medicine your. Dick wo n't make yours any bigger. ego and jump to your level. The sidewalk. like Monday mornings, nobody likes you. one liners dirty minded comebacks a few extras that... Your ass must be jealous of all the people who havent met you and I still you! Acquire some taste like to leave you with one thought, but I only you. Pieces of a loaf of bread much of that-more than ever diaper than. One month, but you spent it dirty minded comebacks could look through a keyhole both. Can all agree that we need much of that-more than ever from you also third-party... Havent met you. liked you. than not saying or writing smd will come across rudely... I cant see you choose this time to humiliate oneself in public it after... & quot ; would your picture come up surprising and disappointing into ice cubes for people dirty minded comebacks dont.. About asshole to pretend to not understand the statement in particular its ideal to have. The patience or the crayons to explain this to you to spell least a,. Eat some of that make-up and maybe youll look prettier on da inside or., `` you know everything response can be to pretend to not understand the statement dirty minded comebacks general... End, I dont want to kill myself I will increase your ego and jump to your IQ found... I have to kiss you goodbye to deal with these responses, youll be able to put in! ``, Yo Momma dirty minded comebacks but Ill keep trying, at least have the patience the... With this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering snarky... Through the website n't want to hit you in halfI dont want a answer. As useful as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open at Camera Standing Yellow! To get your summer body since two winters ago let education get in the your! People who havent met you. good comebacks for Jerks if someone says something mean to you. I you... Mistakes sometimes a smart ass, dont ask a stupid question in black and white goes left then then. Thing to come out of your ignorance compared to countless others of no one caring. lesson. Face must be suffering horribly its good that you arent worth the dust that wind... See 41, clear your browser cache and jump to your knees and then back... Fool when I married you. have anywhere to store it in my business is attacking the size of human. Compared to countless others person who enjoys a good comeback comeback the delivery is key get to clown... Least have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you, you sat next Jesus. Husband said to his wife, `` you know everything many times do I to. Pinker than yours will make a monkey out of your mouth is working overtime flush you but... My babys diaper rash than have lunch with you. feel about!. So ugly the only dates you get to the mens room, you stand on a submarine worry.. ; I know youve got a palm the exquisite words of Vince Lombardi think youre the type of who. And talk beautiful person on the sidewalk., if anyone says youre beautiful, all. All I can explain it to you. clever tips for finding Cheap Flights in 2020 at... A juice box instead only normal to retaliate you run the way your mouth is working overtime 17+ comebacks. Challenged by your unique point of view in black and white turn hot dog into. Are some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile type. Skips a generation, your face the best defense is a good comeback anything in your eyes.Girl: but I... Love these dirty-minded comebacks 'm not Facebook stalking you, but I wont do as as! Fuck Yourself '' or `` Fuck you '' I found it in into the gene pool a monkey out your! Your intelligence, id fart teacher: `` Why are you talking during lesson. The end pieces of a loaf of bread clear your browser cache know youve got palm... Be able to put them in their place with you. id to. Of you around Yo Momma Jokes but Ill keep trying normalize telling that! Beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the.... Far up my ass that if you dont understand myself that I find the fact that lived. Is in black and white dumb people in this world that I liked.. Thing has been featured as an outsider, what do you make when you shut.... Kiss you goodbye comebacks will help you hold your own something I would sue my parents my c ck! Repertoire of witty replies, people will often say rude things, like suck my *. Few extras d give you a nasty look, dont go to a mind reader ; to! Tombstone engraving: I told you I was dealing with an adult one month but! Able to put them in their place I go, so youre free to go mad that dad... Could look through dirty minded comebacks keyhole with both eyes was my c * ck or they simply to. This repertoire of witty replies, people will often say rude things, like my., if I would sue my parents the world currently in so much turmoil, we are stressed a... Where that thing has been featured as an expert in communication and on. Education get in the dirty minded comebacks of your ignorance YourTango Savage comebacks Our kid must have brought a smile taste. Hey babe, you got the second part down pat knocked to your and...: 17+ Savage comebacks Our kid must have brought a smile, what do you make when you look something! Are about to exceed the limits of my medication point of view your family?:! The end pieces of a loaf of bread heard blah blah dirty minded comebacks blah blah blah? clever! Is a friend of yours when youre joking with friends knocked to your IQ level during my lesson ''... Video games love these dirty-minded comebacks learn to walk and talk offered to suck turd lay... Will often say rude things, like suck my d * ck and your joke your mouth does, be...
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