Its my downfall to try to take care of everyone and make sure everyone is happy. Im emotionally and physically attracted to.him and I work closely with him every day. I have always been devoted, hard working, cook, romantic, give lots of physical attention to include foot massages and kisses. What was hurting me and why and what could we do to fix it. If your wife wants to sleep with someone else, you need to be sure that it is not due to underlying problems in the relationship. However, if you would rather focus on cultivating a romantic relationship with your friend, you will have to think about letting go of your marriage. You can start to feel neglected or unfulfilled by your relationship, so you begin to look elsewhere. Hence please try and consider all the various components of this conundrum. So we never really considered dating each other. She went out, back to the city, almost every other weekend, until last month, when she finally told me about her love for the other. Interestingly enough, most people say YES, they would choosefalling back in love with their spouseafter an affair! What if you love this other person but divorcing your partner would cause too many problems? The arguments started up again during my first pregnancy. That said, if you truly want this marriage to survive and you think, I am in love with you or I truly want to fall back in love with you when you look at your spouse, then I want you to know that there are plenty of things that you can do to restore the bond between you. Every single marriage is unique and has its own intricacies, and by working together we can pinpoint the exact problems and define concrete solutions to help you reach your goal. Speak to each other about the good things, reinforce them, make exciting plans and commit to exciting adventures. So the very first thing that I invite you to do that will help you determine what is best for you, is to focus on the long-term results and consequences of any decision that you make right now. He has never loved any woman in his heart apart from me. When discussing the issue it is important to be compassionate and understanding and allow them to tell the . I need help.. My husband and I have always been very close. Why Doesnt My Father Love Me? It is true that some people will opt to stay in a relationship in order to protect their family and the environment in which their children grow up, but it is also important to note that sometimes the tensions that build between the two spouses living under the same roof can have more of a negative effect on the children than a divorce or a separation. Is it how they were raised? To work with us, you can click here. Ive read a lot of books etc and am trying but with zero encouragement from him and no interest. How to Overcome Long Term Infidelity Effects, The Art of a Good Marriage: A relationship coachs insight. I feel trapped and alone and Ive lost the person I fell in love with as well. So perhaps you can begin by limiting the amount of things you reach out to your ex husband for, and reach out to your SO if you still need help. We got married seven years ago and now have two sons, ages 4 and nearly 2. The important thing to keep in mind is that if you remain in a marriage just to keep the other person happy, you are also preventing them from eventually being with someone who truly wants to be with them. I cant cut out the other person because he is the father. Six years ago, I asked him for a separation and he agreed then backed off. Since she wants to sleep with someone else, she may well do it with or without your consent, and most would agree that we would instead not be kept in the dark. For a while now, i havent been in love with my spouse and even before i met this guy a few months ago, it has been years that ive wanted to end my marriage with my spouse. Boy meets girl, falls in love, grows up and gets married to said girl, has three beautiful kids And then his wife starts pushing him to sleep with other women because it excites her. Instead, he wanted to find a way to save it. Married, But Constantly Thinking About Someone Else There are four options if you find yourself thinking of someone else and are debating about or have already had an affair: End the affair with that other woman or man, and fix things with your marriage Stay in your marriage while continuing a relationship with that someone He thinks nothing is wrong and doesnt see any problems. It was because of this child (but not only because of him), that we engaged in a serious relationship after all. That way, we can ask you targetted questions that can help you define the right steps to take. This means that it needs to be nurtured in order to be kept alive. I feel obligated to try to make my marriage work, but there doesnt seem to be any desire. Your relationship was rocked by infidelity, but you put in the work to, Is your man dragging his feet when it comes to popping the question? Over time, our love for each other grew strong and we have had a solid base of love and trust (or so i thought). Also, you may find that the two of you grow closer after the experience, as she will appreciate your sacrifice in allowing her to explore a bit. My therapist suggested couples therapy but he doesnt want that. Thanks for the post. And this guy asked if i still love the hubby. But I dont want to. I think even if he started treated me right, Id still want my bestie, because it feels like hes the other half of me. I was devastated and had no option than to hide away from him. It was mostly based on our child in the beginning, and grew over time. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry. But is it my fault then? I dont want to hurt my husband and children who are innocent of my teenage love. A relationship with a boyfriend where love feels monotonous might make you want to sleep with someone else. Thank you for your message and your interesting point! Dont make the mistake of spending all your free time on social media, interacting with your Friends on Facebook or Instagram instead of with your significant other. The desire and attraction you feel for the new guy is something that naturally happens to everyone at one time or another. Im feeling drawn my coworker. Now that we have gotten past the potential legal matters and the possible motives, lets think about the moral and social dilemma. I am at the point where i dont wanna try anymore. We have a strong friendship but our physical relationship is bad. But when my husband returned home he was a stranger for me. If you are constantly arguing and contradicting, then yes, you might win sometimes; but it is just going be an empty victory because youll be creating a larger divide between you and your husband or wife. But everytime i think of losing him, my heart is heavy and i feel like my world will crumble. I wanted to kiss him and I didnt care that I was married or that he was newly married. Wishing you all the best. Now I dont think I feel anything Im just empty, lonely and Im looking for love and to be loved. On top of that, we are all subject to social and familial pressures and the fear of letting people that we care about down. So even if you aremarried but in love with another person, its important to remember that you are the master of your own destiny. My husband is a nice man, a good father. I want more. My friend and I have known each other for 10 years, but most of that time we both thought there was too much of an age difference between us (17 years) and that we wanted different things out of a relationship. I dont have the heart to tell me husband to leave. Instinct attraction that grew more and more the more we got to know each other. I feel like if i leave my husband Im using his past as an excuse but I feel that no one should have gone through what I have and to this day I have no idea if he is just hiding that he is going out on me again. Yet I cant divorce my husband due to social stigma and potential effect on the children for not being with their biological dad. I really hate my life. Required fields are marked *. Hi Kim, Thank you for sharing your story. Also my libido is a lot higher then his, I love to experiment and try new things. I am in love with my SO, the affection, intimacy, sex life is amazing! So the very first thing we need to do it is to dissect the situation. The good news here is that they can be changed. com for hes a GOD on earth. This is an aspect that cannot be stressed enough. Husbands parents live with us and have created huge problems between us. But Im just so freaking unhappy, and I cant explain it very well to others. I could easily have sex multiple times a day. Hi Holly, It breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Ive been married for 3 years but weve been together for 9 year. I am not sure what I want; I am beyond confused and I also, just want to disappear. Almost the same situation as you. Because I dont want to hurt my husband. My husbands a good father nd tries to take care of me as much as he can but then he doesnt take care of my emotional needs. So as I said, the key to making the right decision is weighing out the long-term consequences. If you choose to pursue a relationship with the person youve been having an affair with, how is that going to affect their life positively and how is that going to affect their life negatively? Take a moment to think about how a person will talk to us for hours if we allow them to talk about themselves. It's not unnatural to love your boyfriend but think about sleeping with someone else. Im scared of what my family will react, my family includes our children, my brother and sister and the rest of my moms brothers and sisters. Your husband wants to cheat on you. You still feel a form of love and attachment to your spouse (otherwise you might not be reading this article right now), but at the same time you are drawn to this new person. I need help. Ending an affair can be difficult, but it all starts with mindset. How long for children to grow up then I can leave, when every day is so unacomplished and unfulfilled just because I am married to someone so different than my way of living life.Any thoughts you have, I would really appreciate. It seemed timing was always off but I always had the what if idea in the back of my head. Ive been reading a lot on the internet about this kind of situation, but almost all of it is about how to choose or what to do, if YOU fell in love for someone else. Just because your husband thinks it is ok to have sex while you are separated does not mean you have to agree it is ok. My husband and I have been married for almost 14 years and have 4 children. How to make your boyfriend miss you: The EASIEST way! I feel as now we are acting like roommates and not husband and wife. I have been married for 25 years to my best friend. all you have to is get in touch with me or a member of my team. But my best friend, who I was in love with since I was 15 has been a constant in my life for years. Husband checked out emotionally, we live like room mates, sleep in the same room but no intimacy. 1 Why Your Husband Wants You to Sleep With Another Man. I had a good friend(married) for last 7 years and everything was perfect in life. Our relationship started fifteen years ago with a friendship and after we lost contact for a few years we met again and started a loose romance from which she got pregnant with our first child. I respect him for being the father of my children, but the love is not there. Manage Settings Ny feelings are all over the place right now and even though I know what I really want to do which is be with her I dont want to hurt my wife but at the same time Im tired of living my life for everyone else and I want to do something that I want to do for a change in my life and what I think is best for me. Ask away! 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