Supporters claimed that inoculation was a blessing from God, opponents that it was a cursereckless, impious and tantamount to attempted murder. Six years into that marriage, her husband was advancing so quickly in the world that she might have begun to worry he might one day outgrow his plain, poorly educated wife. Deborah Read, who he had courted before going to England, had married Roger Potter during his absence. Way University Professor and Professor of History, Brown University. LOL I didnt just say that! Recall Benjamin Franklin said, "Good wives usually make good husbands" and "The likeliest Way, either to obtain a good Husband, or to keep one so, is to be Good yourself". Benjamin Franklin Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning. Happiness is produced not so much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen, as by little advantages that occur every day. Then he had his own romantic calamity: He learned that a young woman of his acquaintance was pregnant with his child. Mulligan: Franklin, of course, never sent "Fart . Wherein a Practicable Plan is laid down for Obtaining and Securing Conjugal Felicity. The wife of Thomas Godfrey, a mathematician who lived in part of Franklins house with his family and Junto member, tried to make a match between Franklin and a relatives daughter. Benjamin loved the child and his new role as a dad, but that did not mean he opened up to be more of a loving husband to Deborah. 1.A Century of Printing: The Issues of the Press of Pennsylvania (Phila., 1885), no. The disease was fatal in more than 30 percent of all cases and even more deadly to children. In October 1765, Deborah Franklin sent a gushing letter to her husband, who was in London on business for the Pennsylvania legislature. Others say the time change is bad for health and productivity. In 1758, near the start of Franklins first extended stay in London, she sent the portrait or a copy of it to him, perhaps hoping it would bind him to her in the same way she imagined its subject once had. Benjamin Franklin: An American Life (Simon & Shuster, New . But there are plenty of real-life anecdotes as well. They write new content and verify and edit content received from contributors. Young Franklin discovered a volume of The Spectatorfeaturing Joseph Addison and Sir Richard Steeles famous periodical essays, which had appeared in England in 171112and saw in it a means for improving his writing. Because the Compunction is less. Deborah Franklin suffered another stroke on December 14, 1774, and died five days later. Deborahs shocked indignation is apparent in the entry she subsequently made in the shop book, in the place where she should have entered the details about the paper stock. If one parent or near relation is against it, he noted in 1759, the other does not chuse to inoculate a child without free consent of all parties, lest in case of a disastrous event, perpetual blame should follow. He raised that dilemma again in 1788. Benjamin Franklin. A few months later she pressed him: I hope you will not stay longer than this fall.. I have been so happy as to receive several of your dear letters within these few days, she began, adding that she had read one letter over and over. I call it a husbands Love letter, she wrote, thrilled as though it were her first experience with anything of the kind. Benjamin had a common-law marriage with Deborah Read, until her death. What followed was nearly 40 years of what Franklin referred to as perpetual blame., Itsurfaced in various forms. LOL I hope you have a great day! Benjamin Franklin: The Tamed Womanizer. Given Franklins notorious frugality, the commission was an extraordinary indulgencemost tradesmen didnt have portraits made of themselves, let alone their children. In May 1771, on a kinder note, he wrote: I am much pleased with the little Histories you give me of your fine Boy.I hope he will be spared, and continue the same Pleasure and Comfort to you, and that I shall ere long partake with you in it., Over time, Benjamin, too, came to regard the grandson he had yet to lay eyes on as a kind of reincarnation of his dead son. A Benjamin Franklin Reader, p.53, Simon and Schuster, There is a mistake in the text of this quote, Occupation: Founding Father of the United States. by Benjamin Franklin, Carl Japikse. Perform without fail what you resolve. I was always interested in books about finances, which caused me to discover Ben's "The Way to Wealth.". If you want to be loved, love and be loveable. What do you think about Benjamin Franklins wisdom about marriage, sex and the older woman? "A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short." -Andre Maurois "Marriage is the most natural state of man and the state in which you will find solid happiness." -Benjamin Franklin "Marriage is a huge investment: of time, of energy and of emotion. His exact birthday is unknown, as is the identity of his mother, but he was born sometime around 1730, and . Benjamin Franklin 1731-1813. But as her health declined, she gave up her vow not to give him one moments trouble. When will it be in your power to come home? she asked in August 1770. Leonard W. Labaree. No desirable young woman with a dowry would want to marry a man with a bastard infant son. Benjamin Franklin's The Art of Virtue: His Formula for Successful Living. Prose was another matter. Perhaps out of compassion, few of Franklins contemporaries questioned his explanation for not inoculating Franky or asked why he had gone so quiet on the procedure in the months before his son died. The happy State of Matrimony is, undoubtedly, the surest and most lasting Foundation of Comfort and Love . He was the tenth son of soap maker, Josiah Franklin. Survivors were often blind, physically or mentally disabled and horribly disfigured. And we can imagine that for Deborah it was even worse. The budding friendship between the two young people soon developed into mutual attraction. He flat out denied such rumors, claiming he was an honest husband, even if he was not a loving one. He considered becoming an itinerant teacher of swimming, but, when Thomas Denham, a Quaker merchant, offered him a clerkship in his store in Philadelphia with a prospect of fat commissions in the West Indian trade, he decided to return home. Reading Benjamin Franklin's letter in the year 2013, I have to agree with you, a lot of the things he wrote about marriage in the year 1745 appear to be funny to us today, because it just isn't true. They are these: 1. Benjamin Franklin was born on January 17, 1706 in Boston, Massachusetts. How did a man who understood better than most the relative safety and efficacy of inoculation choose wrong? She and Ben were never legally married. Gone are a me days o fun. And when she became pregnant with their first child, near the beginning of 1732, she had reason to hope she might have one. In London Franklin quickly found employment in his trade and was able to lend money to Ralph, who was trying to establish himself as a writer. Benjamin's parents wanted him to be a clergy By David Martin - Wikimedia Growing up, Franklin's parents wanted him to be a priest. Ben Franklin was my first idol, when I was a young lad, & he remains one of my very favorite people wise, inventive, & ohh so witty! 5. Families were not quick to give dowries to men with an illegitimate child, but Deborah Read's family was. Cookie Policy Or did he fear that they would lose this new Franky, too? Marriage is the proper Remedy. After expressing his regret over having failed to inoculate Franky, he added: This I mention for the Sake of Parents, who omit that Operation on the Supposition that they should never forgive themselves if a Child died under it; my Example showing that the Regret may be the same either way, and that therefore the safer should be chosen., Franklin took the blame for not inoculating Franky, just as he took the blame for Deborahs disastrous first marriage. . Benjamin Franklin, Walter Isaacson (2003). Biographers and historians tend to shy away from his married life, perhaps because it defies idealization. I would have been burned at the stake for being a redhead back then since they thought redheads were witches! 6. 2023 Smithsonian Magazine Copyright 2009-2021 The Redhead Riter | Commenting Policy | Disclosure | Disclaimer | Privacy |, A Short Motivational Thought, Wish And Quote. From the outset, his father hinted otherwise. The procedure was a precursor to modern-day vaccination. Other men had. 1523. the state in which you will find solid happiness. In public, Franklin himself took the blame for not inoculating Franky. He chronicles Franklin's tumultuous relationship with his illegitimate son and grandson, his practical marriage, and his flirtations with the ladies of Paris. Benjamin Franklin. The Practice of Inoculation for the Small-Pox, begins to grow among us, he wrote the next month, adding that the first Patient of Note, a man named J. A visitor to the Franklin home in 1755 saw Deborah throw herself to the floor in a fit of pique; he later wrote that she could produce invectives in the foulest terms I ever heard from a gentlewoman.) But her correspondence leaves no doubt that she loved Benjamin and always would. As a scientist, Franklin took great interest in inoculating against the disease. Franklin argued in his essay that since human beings have no real freedom of choice, they are not morally responsible for their actions. Franklin swooped in and took Deborah as his common-law wife on September 1, 1730 common-law so that, if Mr. Potter returned, neither one would be in violation of bigamy laws. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman. A person, whether they are male or female, can be a whole and evolved person without being married! There was no ceremony. But still I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your affectionate Friend. But rather than focusing on the devastation caused by the disease, Franklins coverage dealt primarily with the success of smallpox inoculation. Having been to "Hell and back," her passionate writing will inspire, motivate, educate and make you laugh. Many biographers and historians have followed suit, accepting at face value that Franky was simply too sick for inoculation. Understanding tis a current Report, it began, that my Son Francis, who died lately of the Small Pox, had it by Inoculation., Franky had died on November 21, a month after his 4th birthday, and his father sought to dispel the rumor that a smallpox inoculation was responsible. Did I say a? Even with those deathswhich doctors attributed to smallpox contracted before inoculationthe inoculation death rate was negligible compared with the fatality rate from naturally acquired smallpox. Author of, Alva O. Was it an attempt to lift Deborah out of debilitating grief? Now a me limbs are soft an tender. In 1776 he insisted that the 7-year-old accompany him on his diplomatic mission to France. If youre Having the goutI wish I was near enough to rub it with a light hand.. The couple's marriage was a mixed bag. If he still had feelings for her, he also knew that her dowry was gone and she was, technically, unmarriageable. Mr. and Mrs. Franklin proved good business partners, but that was where amicable relations ended. That didn't end well, as Potter absconded to the West Indies to escape paying some debts. He had dated a woman named Deborah Read, but after Franklin left to go across the ocean to Great Britain, she married a man named Roger Potter. LOL I obviously love you anyway. He was General Crook's lead scout at the Battle of the Rosebud participated in the Slim . The matter of whether or not he had been inoculated may have created lasting marital discord, says Smithsonian Magazine. Lasting Foundation of Comfort and Love who is not a loving one power come..., opponents that it was a cursereckless, impious and tantamount to attempted murder ; being sincerely your Friend. Partners, but he was not a good woman tantamount to attempted murder been at. Franklins coverage dealt primarily with the success of smallpox inoculation, Love and be loveable this..... 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