I gave him the benefit of the doubt too many times. Often the dog doesnt get walked for a few hours in the morning because I have to get myself and the kids ready before I can take the dog out when really he could just get up and do it.He never wants to come on walks with us. But do you guys think its worth it? I got furious.He did this pretty often in the past but I used to tell him how I didnt like his sudden occasions of disappearing without a word cause it makes me worried. But even after reminding him of that, nothing happen. It's also could be a sign your partner is unwilling to prioritize your relationship, communication has eroded, or you're no longer top-of-mind. Don't make it "your fault." I understand law school is a rigorous program but for some reason he has been unhappy and stressed about everything that is going on in his life. I decided to go back to my place, after wards he decided to send me a text saying we should take a break just like that. Ignoring a man based on false projections often has drastic results. He has motivation and spends money on doing that but what about me lol, he puts no effort into our relationship. Its not that those things arent wonderful, its just that I. Another thing is that my relationship with him heavily influenced my religion. If youre always playing offense, you could continually be hurting your partner's feelings, thereby offending, alienating, and pushing them away. The worst of all, Hes so Unforgiven, if we have misunderstanding ill sent a text of apology, after that ill try to call him, but, he wont pickup on several occasions. I would go on my off days when I wasnt in collehe classes or work. He says he feels out of touch with his emotions, and he doesnt know how to think or handle them. Men go through depression, hurt and sorrow just like us women do. Its easy for him to say he crashed at a friends, but let him get over the guilt or offers an explanation before he comes back. its just do not putting attention at all. I have been with my boyfriend 15 years and yes he is still boyfriend no engagement no wedding haha. Things had been going really well during the time we decided to get back together and I thought things were really different. I hold my tension in about the pot than lash out on him cuz I know he wont change and stop smoking, but I also dont want to be with someone that doesnt make me feel special or loved. For the past few months I noticed he stopped making effort. Im going through the same thing now. Doesnt want to go do nothing but work on projects for the house. His family are complicated, we rushed into our relationship, live together almost 5 years. I spend half my time daydreaming about being actually taken care of by someone. We had to fight a lot so I can see his friends pictures. 8 Signs Youre Falling Out of Love With Your Partner, How People Who Commit Adultery Justify Cheating, According to an Expert, What to Do If Someone Is Flirting With Your Partner, What Is Breadcrumbing? We decided to move in together shortly after COVID began so I worked things out with my work and moved to his state. The one time I did ask him to pick me up at the train, he forgot. Since the beginning Ive always been the one making sure we talk, that we see each other. He also said that I know how he is and that he is tired from work. I am very confused and angry at myself because I know he wasnt like that in his previous relationship endeavors. I asked him where he skated since his bio mentioned he skated and then he said he knew me!! He forgave me and I eventually moved back. You dont deserve to be treated like nothing. And when I ask him what hes been doing that he cant call me, he gives me horrible excuses. This man is no good for you, and he will never learn how to grow out of his depression if theres someone always doing everything for him. I been paying for everything(food,gas,food, weed). He tried and invited me to a restaurant 2 times but that has stopped as well now. I mean, the love we have for them would still be there. Everything is fried up. Its been an extremely rocky relationship but has the tendency to resolve itself. I really love him but he is not doing anything to build connections. Once in a while, I managed to do something to please him. And what if something bad happened to him which I hope not at least I know who to contact. But after reading the article I realize that Ive just been complaining but I have never taken out the time to ask him, what a healthy happy relationship looks like to him, what his definition of effort is, or what kind of life does he want us to live, with me planning everything for us or what he wants. He always said that its his first relationship and he doesnt know how to behave like a boyfriend. He has never had a serious relationship so he doesnt know that we could have gone through it together. Always cussed them out and called them names, and he works a whole day.. we are now behind on bills , our electric is over 300$ , our wifi is 170+$, we have another wifi bill from another company thats 200+$, and hes had multiple concussions and a broken hip from hockey a long time ago.. Hes become so inward that I have to question him daily and it hurts.. I really i am lost and dont know what to do, love only gets old if he allows it, I have been trying to do sweet things for him aswell by making him a nice meal and texting him good morning and just checking up on him but I guess he seems rather bored. I read this article today because today he laughed at me when I put on a dress that wasnt low cut or revels my chest. I honestly think we have a future together, but Im not his priority right now and I wonder if the possible future is worth fighting for. So currently on the couch drinking a beer, eating leftovers from a 3 days ago (which is humorous because he could have at LEAST heated that up for me) and then all the sudden the dog jumps up at me. https://www.bonobology.com/husband-does-not-give-me-attention From what you said, he seriously dont appreciate you. I thinking breaking up with him is definitely a stretch, but Im tired of begging my boyfriend for some reasonable attention. Thats the way to get a I dont care, because Im awesome kind of attitude. I asked him to spend Memorial Day with me shocker he forgot and made other plans. Is that just how things are going to go? I was 15 when we got together and he is like my best friend I love him very much the problem is, I just feel like I do everything I can to make him feel comfortable and cared for and he does very little at all. Within the past 2 years. But by week three the little things stopped happening I chalked it up to me being less a guest in his home and more a comfortable companion. The last 3 sentences are what I just told myself & did! I am clearly the one putting any effort into the relationship where I think I have just made it too easy for him. You deserve to be told that you are beautiful, you deserve to be shown concern, you deserve respect. I asked him to help me move to where he lives the first 2 times he said yes quickly.. It is almost like I was forcing him to show that he cared. Let YOU be your super woman! Again, tons of excuses. He just doesnt care. Dont forget, you deserve affection, effort, and communication. We planned to moving in together (I go to live with him), but due to the lockdown, the plan has been changed, because of his lack of the response, I decided not to move in with him for now, when I told him this, he replied that he would like to visit me when he can fly. I could have written that. 88 years of expert advice and inspiration, for every couple. yes, I did reply. Then once the virus hit, he completely changed. He hates my mom which is part of that reason. Nor was him working full time and on his masters degree for 18 months. It can make you feel insecure like theres something wrong with you. My boyfriend had a terrible marriage and an even worse divorce. i already confronted him with the issues and tried to convince him to change and make things smooth. We both still live at home and even tho hes nearly 21, his parents still have some control over him, he doesnt talk back to them and theyre weird about him staying in my house and doing stuff with me (sometimes not all the time!) He calls me stupid n crazy. I understand exactly where youre coming from. Recently,he told me hell be busy with work and i tried to understand our situation right now..But he i feel like he doesnt seems to give much effort for this relationship to get closer. Been with my a few years. There is someone else for you. I am tired of him not making a plan and his sudden switch in personalities. He said he was planning on proposing that year. Meet new people, and make quality friends who youd rather spend time with and make him feel that he is not the ONLY one you have, but a choice you have made to spend some time of your life with. I moved across the world during the honey moon phase of our relationship. If anything is like now hes got this new job hes checked out and wants a new life. He had PTSD, bi polar disorder and anxiety. 2 years ago, something was off in our relationship and he wasnt making effort with me, almost at all. Tell yourself its not the end of the world and you will be just fine with or without him. In the second year of the relationship we were going out a lot to bars and clubs, and he began to drink a lot, and would become very aggressive with me, and started to treat me bad. You wouldnt even have to be sad or feel bad for him, because the honest reality is that he didnt value all your efforts while you gave a damn. he said its his karma for leaving me behind. Then he texted me to see how I was doing. We havent had sex on a Saturday in about a year. Then quarantine hit. He doesnt think. Here are 5 reasons he stopped texting you: 1. Overuse of the phone, computer, social media, and video gamesalong with an unwillingness to unplug even after being askedis a big departure from the early "getting to know you" phase of your relationship when all conversations seemed interesting and all concentration was focused on your time together. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months already and up until this day, he is literally showing no effort in our relationship. But I decided to tell my bf what makes me happy. for example, yesterday, he gave me a box of chocolates only because his mom made him and i usually have to make the first moves, even if its something simple as reaching out to hold hands. Some of your traits are similar to mine and some are similar to someone that I was dating at the time. Im so embarassed and devastated plus the sex he didnt touch me but he kiss me but I understand because I only give him minutes. Ignoring a guy to get his attention is really about not giving up time for yourself and the things that make you happy. Hi Angela, Well Im no expert with relationships. You need to recognize that youre settling for less than you deserve. X. I know this is a late reply but do you feel like he respects you? im not sure what to do anymore. I dont know what to do. That being said, Ive grown up a lot in during our relationship which is my first and it means a lot to me and i will definitely regret our breakup. HE SAYS IT ISNT A BIG DEAL. he says he wants to break off because he is busy in his work and stuff. time and time again i have told him why i was upset, what he could do to make the situation better and everything in between, yet he still does nothing. However, somewhere after the 4-5 month mark, he got another job and started working two jobs. I double-majored in physics and mathematics and was sooooo constantly busy and very emotionally abused at the time in my relationship. Paula an emotional rollercoaster is an emotional roller coaster. And i blamed him roudly.. And he promised me that his intention was nit to cheat me and said sorry. Since Ive moved in with him Ive noticed a big change in things. Weve been through a lot. Would you be better off without him? He never, ever in our relationship posted pictures of us on social media. yes I did give myself to him.he was my first.. and it was the second time I snuck out but I did everything for him and I get ignored. Bc of me being in trouble for stuff my mom sent me away with my grandma to another state for fall break. I feel weirdly trapped because I cant really break up with him given there isnt an actual relationship there, but Im in this loop where if I dont respond to HIM like an attentive girlfriend, he expresses this anxiety that gets my attachment system triggered. I try to do something positive and you piss on it. On the other hand, maybe your boyfriends lack of effort means that he only calls you once a month or texts you once every two months. I feel that I am confused and disappointed. Anniversaries, birthdays etc. No updates or goodnight/ goodmorning texts.The thing is, I get worried easily.I didnt wanna bother him cause I knew he could get pretty busy with chores at home and his fam is kinda strict on exposure to electrical gadgets so he doesnt want to be on his phone much when hes with them. I feel lonely and he NEVER wants to go out or do anything. But hes a good guy with a good job so thought I would see if I could deal with it. Wow, this article was just what I wanted to hear, Im currently on a break with my boyfriend, he doesnt put effort at all and I had finally reached breaking point, I have to complain about something before he does something about it, one day I broke my hand and he was busy entertaining his boss and colleagues and he never took time to step aside and ask how Im doing. But he would rather break up than try to understand what makes me happy and make an effort. He says he loves but i dont really see it in actions you know. Oh, also he keeps poking my stomach and at first it was funny and cute but now its genuinely annoying and Im trying to tell him to stop but he doesnt take me seriously and just kind of turns it into a joke. Its to tell someone what I will, and will not, put up with. He said that he knows he loves me but that he felt like I dont care for him. I love drinking with him and having a laugh but he doesnt seem to feel the same. I tried to talk to him about it multiple times, every time he would apologize and say he would be better, but he always fell back in the same routine. Not texting me as often, not asking when we are going to hangout again. he is so family oriented and almost makes it seem as if his parents and his family is more important than me. Letting go means opening your heart and being your true self in all aspects of your life whether youre in a healthy relationship or starting over after a breakup. How much time should I spent apart from him and not talking to him? Ask them, I feel like youre ignoring me. I think women pick up on subtleties and there is something up. The sex? Im 55, I decided I can not live another minute in an unstable relationship. He has way more money than me and said he didnt do anything because he was angry at me. Me to a restaurant 2 times he said yes quickly sure we talk, we... 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